Monday 3 September 2012

It's all about me...


(I do feel a bit vain putting 4 photos of myself up...I suppose my excuse is its so you know what I look like ha)

I decided for today's post to steer away from my usual beauty reviews/other ramblings and give you a little update on me and my life, which may justify the lack of posts on here (and the quality of them!)

I guess the biggest news is my move back home - you might remember from previous posts/youtube videos/tweets that I had moved down to England at the end of March, but basically it didn't work.
Lee and I are still together, but the living situation there wasn't practical (we were living with his mum, sister and her boyfriend and baby, plus two dogs!) and it did cause quite a lot of arguments/tension.

I also had a rotten time of it in my job down there - I was essentially being bullied - and so when it came to the end of my probationary period there, we came to a mutual agreement that I was going to leave.

So rubbish job, tense homelife, HORRENDOUS homesickness did not make for a good experience, and as a result I became very, very down. If I got by one day not crying that was an achievement, and there were days I couldn't be bothered to do anything, not even put on my makeup. I can't remember how it was decided exactly, but my Mum basically made the decision for me to come back home, and so here I am.

I take my hat off to Lee, he packed up all my stuff, drove most of the way home (I think I did about an hour and a half's worth of driving out an 8 hour journey!) and is now determined to get a job up here so he can move (if anyone knows of any woodwork-based jobs in south-west Scotland please let me know!).

I am incredibly glad/relieved to be home, and generally I do feel better, but I still have wobbly days. As i'm unemployed I am currently on a Jobseekers allowance, and whilst I am entirely entitled to this, having worked for several years before now, I do feel there is a bit of a stigma attached to being 'on the brew', and I feel VERY uncomfortable about it, especially talking about having to 'sign on' and whatnot.

I have only essentially been out of work for about a month, but it feels much longer, and it is incredibly disheartening every time I receive a rejection letter/email (if I get such any response at all!), telling me that candidates with skills 'better matched' than mine have been selected. Generally I am applying for PA/admin jobs - it's not rocket science!
I think part of my problem as well is that i'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. I've never been someone who knew what they wanted to do with their life when they 'grew up', and as such have spent my work life doing mainly office based jobs, just to get by really.
Ideally I'd like to win the Euromillions but I can't see that happening any time soon sadly...!

I had been hoping to use some of my time (since I now have plenty of it) to do more blog posts, but i've been struggling to find the enthusiasm/energy to do it of late, particularly after very monotonous days of job applications, so apologies for that.

Thank you for sticking by me, and fingers crossed I get my mojo back!


10 comments:

  1. I hope you find a job soon lovely, I know his disheartening it can be, my fiancé lost his job last Novemeber, he'd never been out of work before and it took him a good three months to find another, but he did and so will you. His job involved us moving from Norwich to Manchester which I'm finding incredibly hard but we"re getting there!x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like hearing stories like yours that have a happy ending! You were very brave moving xxx

      Delete
  2. It's good youre back! It really doesnt sound like it wouldve been worth getting so down, especially with the job you were in :( good luck with it all! xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope you find a job soon <3 sending love x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks :) I love how supportive the blogger community is! xxx

      Delete
  4. Can't believe that anyone could be mean to you in a job! How rude. I think the move back will do you some good as that living arrangement sounds incredibly stressful! Don't ever be ashamed of being on job seekers, it's there for people like you who are actually LOOKING for a job! Also you can take pride in actually being dressed to go and sign on (I once went to my local job centre to sign on and there were THREE people in PJs in there!! What the hell?! lol!) You'll get a job soon, just keep applying for jobs. I know rejections are tough but you've cleary got the ability to get a job soon :) Have you ever thought about working on a make-up counter? (just bc you clearly like make-up so it might be fun for a while at least? There's lots of jobs for various brands here: http://www.esteelaudercareers.co.uk/retail/index.html if it's any help?) If you ever need to vent then feel free to send an email my way (I'm good with venting, plus it'll make me feel popular! lol!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Robyn that's really helpful - i'll definitely take a look on there xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ow Melanie, this so resonates with me - I moved away to another country for a job when I was 21, it was only a 3 month contract but I was back home within 3 weeks because I missed home so much and although I wasn't be bullied in work I wasn't being treated well. I know it sucks now but honestly it was the best decision I ever made! Made me appreciate home so much more! And I know the feeling of the stigma of being on Jobseekers Allowance. I'm not on it but I have been on ESA for a year because of a serious health condition I have and feel like I'm constantly having to explain to people why I'm on it and why I need it because to all intents and purposes I look well. Believe me I'd rather be back at work but my health isn't good enough to return to teaching yet. I am doing some tutoring so at least keeping up the skills but I miss it so much, even if it is stressful! Good luck on the job front - I hope something turns up for ya! It's just so tough these days with so many people applying for the same job but even some voluntary work might help in the meantime to bulk up your CV? Hope some of that helps and I'm not being too preachy, it's just I've been in the same situation. Best of luck girl! x

    http://cosmetic-queen-bee.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Voluntary work is an idea Mary...it would get me out the house! xxx

      Delete